Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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