i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
