Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
