I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
