Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
