break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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