Yo dont text me then not text me
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
