Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You're like the curious george of whores
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
