i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
