In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
