ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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