You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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