Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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