You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
