I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
