It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
