if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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