i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just want to make out with him forever
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize