WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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