I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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