This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
where are my pants?
in the oven.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
