dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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