One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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