Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
