real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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