I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
