VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
