Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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