"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
