My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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