OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
