Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize