she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
