He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
