I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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