As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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