Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize