I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
