yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
