peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
