You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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