I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
