Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
