Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
True strength comes from lack of pants
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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