Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
