That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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