If i come over, it means nothing
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
