how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
My pussy is not your playground.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
