Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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