That's intense
Welp...herpes.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
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