you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Randomize
