Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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