She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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