can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
