she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
