It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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