we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
