I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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