If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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