see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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