if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Just cropdusted the office
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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