problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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