This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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