HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
