Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
