Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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