wanna go halves on a baby?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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