i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize