i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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