no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
