If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
